Why do I feel so numb in my lady parts?

allwecannotsay relationship coach

Are you wondering why you feel numb, disconnected, or shameful about

your vagina?

It is not all that hard to figure out really as vaginas have been shamed and felt ashamed of for millenia.

For many of us, the mere mention of the word vagina, makes us feel awkward. In fact, I remember a time when that word would make me blush crimson. It was just such an intimate place to be speaking of. And it is intimate, but our discomfort has caused us to disconnect from the benefits of our vaginas.

Being uncomfortable with this powerful and magnetic part of ourselves (and part of being a woman), can only have negative consequences as we step deeper and closer into intimacy with our partners.

It is time for womankind to collectively embrace the vagina and claim her beauty. And this revolution starts with you and tiny baby steps.

Have you ever noticed how many revolting terms there are for vagina?

The unutterable c word for example – well, why is it so darned rude? It is alluding to our most sacred feminine place not the gutter. 

How often do you care for your vagina? I am guessing not very often.

Instead, most of us try to forget about her, deoderise her, cover her up, shape her into conformity! (hello labiaplasty) all the while ignoring her needs and desires.

Is it any wonder that we are not connected to the pleasure, sensations and empowerment that comes from being connected with her.

If we take the time to care for our vagina and give her some attention, she will reward us with power, intuition and insight. The vagina is energetically and physically a portal to your inner world. It connects our wombs (our creative centres) to the outside world.  She (yes I call her a she) reflects how we show ourselves to the world. The vagina is our key to integrity, alignment, pleasure and courage. Meaning that if we are ashamed of this part of ourselves, we will be all out of whack in the way we connect with the world and in particular our intimate relationships.

So I have made you a special gift to reconnect you to your vagina.

Let’s reconnect with this life-giving place. Let’s take ownership of her magnificence, her pleasure and her wonder.

To do this well, we must not pressure ourselves to be gregariously comfortable all of a sudden. It is the conscious unfolding and blossoming that counts and it starts wherever you are at.

As a starting place, I have collected a bunch of Vagina healing practises and techniques to reconnect and re-energise your lady parts. Most of these practices are from my own experiences and others gratefully come from various practitioners and sources.


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Nicole Mathieson

Hi, I'm Nicole Mathieson, a relationship and body image coach, couple therapist and author.

My relationships blog helps couples learn practical ways to cultivate a deeper understanding of one another, find safety and connection in relationships, navigate difficult conversations and repair after conflict.