Pleasure is Love



“Why do I need pleasure?” you ask
“Why not just go for coping or peaceful or something a bit less hedonistic. Isn’t pleasure a bit extreme?”
My answer is no .
I am talking about the pleasure that has the other name of love.
I am talking about your power to increase your own inner circulation of love. This is empowering, energising and means that you can give out sustainably. There is nothing hedonistic in that.


This circulation of love creates the vibration of well being within us.


I am talking about you being in an optimal state because you are supporting and nourishing your self by allowing it to be full of goodness, ease, fun, play, light, love and trust. Creating the conditions for a flow of chi. The state in which there is no room for disease.


And again I hear you say – “but isn’t it obvious that I would want that for myself? Isn’t that what I am doing?”
You might be, but I suspect that you are actually being stingy with yourself on some level.


Every time you look to please another at the expense of yourself
Every time you suck it up and don’t listen to your inner NO [or YES]
Every time you fall for the belief that it is meant to be hard
Every time you believe your limiting ideas of yourself that you are not enough
Every time you starve yourself of that long needed rest and do the housework instead
Every time you tell yourself “when I am thinner, when I have saved up, when I have another qualification”
or you guilt yourself for eating something bad
or you berate yourself
or doubt yourself
Every time you doubt yourself  – you are starving yourself of pleasure.


You are creating a stressful inner environment that your external environment will need to compensate for – Yes! this is where the neediness, the addictions and the shopping comes from.


When you do these things you are creating the ideal conditions for illness. { But we do need to be gentle, because beneath this stinginess is fear and beneath that is love. }


Choosing fear is not living in the vibration of abundance.


Choosing pleasure

means choosing you
means seeing your worth
means knowing that every moment counts
means letting go of the vigilant fear
means allowing this moment
means being present
means living this life alive – in nourishment
It means opening to the goodness that is there


And it is a choice
It starts with a choice


Pleasure, joy, goodness, nourishment &  love


You gotta choose it
You gotta choose yourself for it
You gotta create the environment
clear out the roadblocks
rewrite the coding
and invite it in
manifest it
intentionalise it
and savour it


If this sounds like it is too difficult for you right now, let me point you in the direction of your heart. Feel your way. Your head will freaking well work you into the ground. Your heart is kind. It speaks the language of your soul and your soul is yearning for this.


If you need more support, there are a few ways I am here for you;
1. One on One coaching – now is the time – last chance to work with me for 2015 as there are 2 months left before I go away.
2. Light Up my revamped and sexied up Pleasure Program is coming. due for release in July.
3. My free Meditation event June 19th is “Trusting Pleasure” themed. There are 5 spaces left.


And for me, personally right now, here are a few ways that I am choosing pleasure and joy and goodness for myself;


1. Not doing my Libido course right now
– The time frame of trying to get a course ready before my trip was stressing me out and contracting me up, so I have decided to dive into that after my big trip and focus on really amping up my Pleasure program ( ready in July)


2. Sunlight
– Winter sun on my face is delightful. This time of year in Brisbane is about the only time we can drink up the sun without getting fried.3. Sera Beak’s book
– Red Hot and Holy. A woman on an audacious ride with her soul voice. I am just reading it saying yes, yes, YES!


4. My Jade Egg
-She is awakening my sensual energy, my libido  and my vagina. Check out my interview with Tamra Mercieca talking all things Jade Egg.


5. Saying No to sex
– I will be writing more about this very soon, but the starting point for joyful sex must be trust, and I am saying no to sex that I don’t want in order to build my inner trust muscle.


6. Getting into my children’s whacky head space
– They are crazy and out there and it is so refreshing.


7. Painting mandalas
– This is becoming a bit of an obsession – I have one on my toilet door now, as you will know if you follow me on Instagram


8. Eating banjo bear carob
– I only bought these little guys so that I could include them when I sent out the prizes to the winners of my giveaway. Let’s just say I keep having to go back to the health food shop.


9. Avocado and lemon
This combination was made in heaven.


10. Planning my trip to UK and France
– Booking apartments in mountain villages, and medieval village squares is pretty darn exciting. Anyone out there from over UK & France between August and November? I would love to meet you.

What about you?

I would love to hear what is bringing you pleasure these days. Please let me know in the comments below.Take extra lovely care lovely one,



  1. Niamh on June 17, 2015 at 10:11 am

    I LOVE this, Nicole!! I’m in the process of prioritising pleasure as a means to healing…I’m going to reread this post lots 🙂

    • hdgu556jdikb08 on June 22, 2015 at 3:57 am

      Oh yes Niamh, pleasure is such a beautiful and loving way to bring in the healing. I wish you so much yumminess.

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Nicole Mathieson

Hi, I'm Nicole Mathieson, a relationship and body image coach, couple therapist and author.

My relationships blog helps couples learn practical ways to cultivate a deeper understanding of one another, find safety and connection in relationships, navigate difficult conversations and repair after conflict.