Numb and disconnected from joy
Years back, I remember sitting on my deck with my first born just a toddler. He and my husband were rumbling on the lounge in fits of giggles, and I had a realisation;
They were so in touch with their JOY.
Whereas I just felt numb.
I laughed along with them, but I remember thinking, I don’t feel the joy. I can see that the situation is joyful, that everything is just lovely, but I am disconnected from it.
It was this realisation and then it’s twin, my crashing libido, the form of disconnection from pleasure that threatened the intimacy in my marriage, that woke me up and got me curious.
Why do I have all the conditions for joy and pleasure, yet not feel it?
Why instead do I just feel this low hum of anxiety?
Why does my body say yes, but my busy mind say no?
And how can I reconnect and actually feel great?
My curiosity led me on an intense exploration of pleasure;
I explored the neurology, biochemistry, psychology, the physicality, the cultural, the energetic and the experience of pleasure in my own body.
I embodied pleasure, the resistance to it and its complexities.
What I discovered was;
1. That this disconnection from pleasure is epidemic. The more people I spoke to about it, the more I realised, this was not just me, this was culture, beliefs and the ways of coping with life, that were, quite frankly letting us down.
2. That we were never going to find it, if we kept looking for it in the places we were looking for it ie; completed to-do lists, perfection and our lives looking good on the outside.
3. That we are built for pleasure and once you know how to nurture it, life is SO much more delicious.
4. People are resistant to pleasure, indulgence, everything going well, ease and abundance; due to guilt, fear of selfishness and hundreds of other excuses. In fact, I should have called my program something else – the Pleasure Program – snort- Who needs that?
5. Committing to my own pleasure, is one of the biggest growth facilitators possible, It brought me face to face with my soul’s desire for unconditional self-love, it asked me to love how it feels more than how it looks, it asked me to rest rather than slog my guts out. It asked me to centre myself in my heart rather than my EGO (head), because my EGO will work me into the ground and have me die for how impressive it looks, before it will have me nurture good feeling.
6. In exploring pleasure, I discovered my inner genius. Pleasure, has our systems functioning in a state of well-being. This well-being allows us full optimal brain & body integration, giving us higher levels of productivity, intelligence, creativity and intuition. You see pleasure is, what I am calling, the Genius zone. You can not find this genius in stress. In stress you are just surviving and coping. In pleasure, you thrive.
7. That I am capable and responsible for how good it feels. Not the people or things around me. But me, in tuning in and being there for me. I am the pleasure creatrix. I am the alchemist, I have that power.
And what I did, is grab everything I had learnt, and created an online course –
I want to see you thriving. I want to see what happens when you are hanging out in your genius zone and bringing yourself to the world.
But most of all
I want your life to feel good.
If you are ready, the pleasure program is a great place to start exploring. It is gentle, kind and loving, yet powerful and deep. Isn’t it time to get past the limited beliefs of guilt and unworthiness and bring your best self to the world?
Let me know if you have any questions about the pleasure program. I am happy to help.
Take care & be kind to yourself
Lots of love (and pleasure)