50 questions to ask your partner to deepen connection

I have created these 50 Couple Questions as life as a couple often involves a great deal of logistical planning, housework, childcare, and a multitude of other responsibilities. It’s easy to get so caught up in these everyday tasks that we forget to make time for the more enjoyable aspects of our relationship. finding a balance between the serious aspects of partnership and the need for lighter, more playful conversations is so important.

These 50 questions can help you rekindle your connection and rediscover the magic that brought you together in the first place (when there were no logistics and serious stuff to deal with).

So much of living lives together can be business-like. We can spend a lot of time interacting around logistics, housework, looking after the kids and in all the busyness, we can forget to make time for anything else. It all gets very serious and gets us stuck very much in our heads. Not only that, our safety biased brains are constantly pointing out the things that are not working which then gets directed at our partner and our relationship becomes the place of right or wrong, corrections and criticisms. So we talk about all the negative things that need improvement…… Is it any wonder that we feel lacklustre about our connection?

As a couple therapist and relationship focussed counsellor, I see this everyday in my therapy space; Couples wondering if they have still got it. If they still love each other. If they find their partner attractive. A lot of the time I think they do and with a little guidance back to connection, many couples remember all the things about their partner that they love, that feels great to be around and that drew them together in the first place.

Having the hard conversations is really important but so are the light, re-connective conversations. I call it scaffolding. When you build a building from the ground up – you first put scaffolding there, to support the difficult work of building. Relationships need this too. Then, when we go to the hardest conversations, we have the support of the connection to support us.

50 questions to ask your partner to deepen your connection will remind you of the connection between your true selves.

Balancing the serious and the playful in your relationship is essential for maintaining a strong and lasting connection. While addressing important issues is crucial, don’t underestimate the power of light-hearted conversations. These moments of playfulness and reconnection can be the foundation upon which you build a loving and resilient partnership. So, take a step back from the seriousness of life, rediscover the joy in each other, and remember why you fell in love in the first place.

If you are interested in a deeper dive into creating great couple communication habits, check out my online course Safe and Connected Communication.

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Nicole Mathieson

Hi, I'm Nicole Mathieson, a relationship and body image coach, couple therapist and author.

My relationships blog helps couples learn practical ways to cultivate a deeper understanding of one another, find safety and connection in relationships, navigate difficult conversations and repair after conflict.