Change shame

Change shame Nicole Mathieson clarity coaching

I have been feeling change shame.

In the last week, I have released my new branding and direction to the world.

 
I have changed a lot in the past few years.
As a kinesiologist and life coach.
And even before that as a teacher and mosaic artist.

Part of me feels the tingles and discomfort of shame. Part of me reddens in embarrassment every time I alert the world of my newest evolution.

This part of me ( my head / my EGO ) tells me:

  • You should choose something and stick to it (like your dad did – sound familiar?)
  • You should know yourself better and not have to change so much.
  • You should just suck it up and slog it out like everyone else.
  • You should be more careful.
  • You must have got it wrong. It has all been a mistake.
  • Your tribe will be confused and will not trust you.

All these thoughts are swirling around my head as I hit publish on my latest direction. My head consciousness has a point. All of the above points could be argued for their merits. They could all hold power over me if I let them.

But I don’t let them.

 
Because there is a different part of me that has a voice and demands my commitment. She is my soul voice and she is centred in my heart. Tuning in to ther, I realise that in fact I have been unwaveringly consistent.

I have stuck by her.

 

In response to all those doubts in my head, here is my soul’s perspective;

  • I know myself better as a result of the changes along my path.
  • I trust the pleasure of alignment with that bigger part of me above my addictions to suffering or needing to be right.
  • I have not been stoic but I have found courage beyond what I thought was possible for me.
  • When I look at where I am and the different outings that have brought me here, I can see that there is no mistake. Each step on the journey has been an essential piece of the wisdom required to be here.
  • My tribe have always stood by me and supported me, proving that the biggest resistance has always only been in my head.

 

The truth in my heart is that I am inspired, energised and motivated by where this direction takes me. I am passionate about seeing people get beyond their fear and doubt and let their unique brilliance shine. This direction plays to my strengths, harnesses my passions and has me in my zone of genius. Right where I belong.

My hope in allowing myself to morph and change is that I inspire you;

  • To NOT feel like you have to keep doing something just because you made a choice.
  • To NOT see the fact that you are ready to change as a mistake.
  • To NOT feel ashamed.
  • To NOT suck it up and be stoic and feel like you have to sacrifice how this precious life of yours feels. How it feels is what matters.

I hope to inspire you to find the courage to follow your path, to create the conditions that bring out your best self and to always, ALWAYS trust your soul voice.

 

take care,

 

Nicole

 

 

 

4 Comments

  1. Kathryn on April 13, 2016 at 3:52 pm

    Hi Nicole. This really resonates with me as i too am changing. Those visions i had with you last year about nature and kids and play and yoga have been changing me. I have quit my newish career in education to pursue more education and training in yoga and kids yoga. So yes shame of not providing for my family. Not sticking it in education that was 10 years of study and not settling into the busy working grind. But you know what i have never been more happy and connected to my true self. I know so deeply that i am doing my souls work and that is the most exciting shame of all to have. Thanks for the blog it was beautiful.

    • Nicole on April 13, 2016 at 9:53 pm

      Oh Kathryn,
      I am so glad to hear that you are trusting your soul vision, and trusting what feels happy and connected. What else could possibly matter? That is a lovely way to put it, “this is the most exciting shame of all to have” I love that! Thank you for sharing and connecting.
      xxN

  2. Jill on April 13, 2016 at 5:16 pm

    Love it, Nic. It certainly resonates with me and my life – change is good for the soul, and I have to honour the way I am in order for my children to be their own unique spirits too. I love what you’re saying, and feel completely at ease that you are there growing and changing with me.

    Love Jill xx

    • Nicole on April 13, 2016 at 9:55 pm

      Thanks Jill,
      I agree, change is good for the soul and I love what you are pointing out about modelling empowered freedom to our children. The last thing we would want for them is to feel trapped in a life that doesn’t please them. Oh and yes indeed, I am here growing and changing with you, every step of the way.
      xxN

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