Have you set any New Year’s resolutions?

This year I am setting my resolutions with a different approach. Usually we set our goals around the ideas of achieving things, what I’m doing is setting my goals on how I want to feel.

This is the brain child of soul leader Danielle LaPorte, and I think it’s a great idea.

If you haven’t heard of Danielle and Desire Mapping – go check it out at the link below. It is a simple yet revolutionizing way for us to approach our goal setting dreams and even more importantly, our daily lives.

Desire Mapping can switch things up for us and bring us back to what really matters. Think about it, it doesn’t really matter so much what you achieve this year, how great you look, how you tick off your to-do list. What good are all those things if they leave you feeling empty or not quite satisfied enough? What good are they if getting there was such a struggle that you are too exhausted to feel anything positive from the outcome.

What really matters my friend is how you feel.

How you feel as you reach completion, how you feel every step of the way there, and how you feel in this moment right here.

So, a few nights ago a small intrepid group of fellow desirers and I, simultaneously with similar groups the world over, held our first Desire Map Book Club.

We brainstormed, delved, discussed and shared and tried to figure out our Core Desired Feelings.

These are the feelings that we most want to feel. These are the ones that more than any other, our soul is yearning to feel. These are the ones that light us up at the mere thought of them.

Here is a photo of our brainstorming results.

Take a look – do any of these light you up?

We all chose about 4 or 5 Core Desired Feelings, and these are to become our guides. They will be the basis for our decision making when we look to our planning for the year, the semester or the day. They become our filter for the way we approach our interactions or activities.

These are the feelings that we just love feeling, make us feel zinged up and completely alive.

Just to get you in the mood for this, I’m going to share my top 4 and explain what they mean for me;

 

1. Adventurous

   Adventurous for me creates joy and excitement. It is freedom and fun. It means feeling a thread of fear but pushing through it and feeling exhilarated by the experience. Adventurous is expanding me out of my comfort zone. It fires me up and makes me feel like I am alive. Adventurous is making new friends, trying new sports, and tasting new dishes. In my work it is being authentic and real, it is putting myself out there as me. It is seeing my successes and failures as part of the journey.

2. Sexily feminine

   At a woman’s retreat late last year I had a revelation that I have been safely living under a false belief that I am not and should not be sexy in order to avoid feeling discomfort and shame. That is a story that I am hoping to share with you soon, but what has emerged from this is a blooming and blossoming of my fully embodied, womanly sensual nature.

   The change has been subtle but fundamental. I feel more whole. At 40 I am finally feeling adult and mature. I feel liberated. My posture is changing, I am more comfortable looking people in the eye, and I am free to be magnetic.

   I love this feeling, this new freedom so I want to encourage it in all its forms and push it forth into new stratospheres of sensual expression.

3. Savoring

   Another lie that I uncovered on the retreat was that if I don’t hurry up I will miss out. Again this is a much larger beast than can be discussed here in such few lines – and again I intend to share this one with you soon – but basically I now realize its implications on my life have been huge and suffocating and I have a sense that many of you can relate to me with this one. Presence means being grounded, still and fully immersed in the moment. It means feeling it, sensing it, taking the time to experience rather than rushing to the next thing on my list. It is about feeling here and now, not achieving off there.

   When I let my monkey mind talk me into the lie that I must rush, I contract, I skim and I do not do anything with the quality that it requires. But, when I approach things from being present and from the spaciousness that I get when I surrender to the light of who I am, I feel creative, inspired and light. This is Open Heart Living.

4. Radiant

   This to me means that I would be an expression of  the light of who I am. To feel free to flow and not hold back in fear of what other people think, or that they may not respond with just the right amount of approval.

   This is to truly be free.

   A lot of us feel overwhelmed and depressed by the state of the world. I feel it too, but I am also unbelievably grateful for all that I have and the opportunities that I have to give to others. This Core desired feeling takes me into gratitude, takes me out of my own sense of drama and expands me into the world as an influence of light.

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So for me this year just got a lot more exciting. I am now thinking of all the things that I will do more of to create the opportunities for all these juicy feeling. There are some things that I will do a lot less of too.

What about you?  

What are your Core Desired Feeling?

What will they influence you to do more of; daily, this year?

What things are feeling zappers? What needs to go?

I hope that just reading this post starts you on your journey into awareness of the feeling states that your soul most craves and yearns for. I hope that finding the Core Desired Feelings creates a new awareness in your every moment in your day and your planning throughout the year.

For more on Desire Map go to www.daniellelaporte.com/thedesiremap

To join a Desire Map book club go to www.daniellelaporte.com/thedesiremap/leaders

For support in getting clear on your Core Desired Feeling book a session here www.nicolemathieson.com/work-with-me

With love