How to love that problem body part
Pretty much everyone I know has a part of their body that they’d like to change. They just can’t quite seem to fully accept.
For some of us it is our shape, for others it’s the dark hairs, the skin, the lump, the scar, the list goes on.
This part of our body seems to have this power over us that stops us from fully accepting ourselves for who we are.
We’ve felt the sting of childhood taunts, we’re reminded every time we look in the mirror, and the clothes on the rack just never fit. We know that not everybody can be a supermodel, and that it is time to grow up and get over it, but this is easier said than done. Some of us come to some kind of grudging acceptance and bury the feelings of shame and guilt, for others, these feelings are still acutely felt every day.
For me the issue was my small breasts.
They just never really grew past small bumps. I waited and waited and watched all my girlfriends develop breasts and then get boyfriends. I came to associate the developing of breasts with sexual allure. I did not feel I had the right to allure until they arrived. I did not feel entitled, capable, or at all attractive without these symbols of womanhood. My discomfort with my body was palpable. It was clear to me that I wasn’t woman enough!
(Sharing this photo with you feels really courageous. This is me. I am exposed. There is no shame = freedom)
The discomfort came from the feeling that my physical body was lacking. This brought with it pain, disappointment and a lack of confidence. I wanted to hide, disguise, enhance, or cover up.
BUT even back in my teenage years, part of me always questioned:
Why should small breasts hold me back?
Why am I so blocked to seeing them as lovely, attractive, even sexy?
There was tension around the paradigm in which I was judging myself with somebody else’s idea of perfection. The perception of lack is only active when we are successfully sold to, hook, line and sinker, by the world of marketing, media and Hollywood – a world that most of us would not trust an inch, let alone with our self-confidence.
Of course, I am sure you agree with me that in reality there is no such thing as perfection. But even though we can understand the logic, the nagging feelings often remain!
So how can we disengage from this default pattern?
Here is how I started on the path to fully accepting my body.
Take a step back, a few deep breaths, feel yourself coming back to your centre.
Now call on your inner wisdom.
Ask a few questions;
- Do I really want to mirror this image of mass media perfection?
- Is mirroring the Hollywood ideal the only way for me to shine?
- What is/are this/these _________ (* put your own body issue here) showing me?
- How can I love it/them?
Can you feel something shift?
Is there some more clarity?
Of course, the change in feeling that you are looking for may not come immediately, so keep meditating on these questions. If you feel that you may need some further support try a bit of journaling or even visit your therapist, kinesiologist or life coach.
For me after connecting to my inner wisdom and fully accepting my body, the changes were profound.
I felt unbelievably grateful for the beautiful, functioning, life giving body (it has nourished 2 thriving children) that I have.
I felt a flush of energy to my sacral chakra as I stopped holding back on my natural creative feminine energy.
I understood that my struggle had been a blessing as life is about overcoming doubt, and radiating light. Without grit, struggle and perceived lack and imperfection, I have no wisdom to offer.
If this was my cross to bear then thank you thank you THANK YOU. I can so take on the wisdom for this and be grateful that my lesson did not have to come with a whole pile of much tougher grit.
These days, I can honestly say that not only do I now love my breasts, but I love my uniqueness even more.
I feel womanly, feminine and give myself full permission to shine my allure in all its many varied ways.
What about you?
I would love to hear your experiences. Leave a comment below and tell us about your problem body part.