Mothers are amazing. Our job is the most rewarding, satisfying and meaningful job you could ever ask for. There are so many rewards and joyous moments as we watch our little ones grow and develop. But sometimes it doesn’t seem so great.
Recently I was in the playground and I got chatting to a mother who I had seen around the traps. This lady’s physique had me convinced that she must be a yoga teacher. As we spoke she was telling me how crazy busy she was and how she felt overwhelmed with all that she had to do. I asked her what she did, as I thought I already knew, totally back footing her. “Well nothing, it’s a bit silly really but just getting the kids to school and looking after the home, is what gets me feeling crazy busy”
No, it is not silly. I get it. I totally get that looking after the family is overwhelming. It is a full time job. It is all encompassing and it is entirely enough. And a lot of us work on top of this already full time job. It is huge!
I always imagined myself as a mother and a wife, but the housework, the logistics, the constant organisation and all that with managing tantrums, moods and sibling rivalry. This stuff was never on my radar. Did I sign up for this?
Motherhood can be quite an isolating job. No matter how supportive your partner, your parents and your friends, it is you, who has to pick up the pieces, fill in the blanks and get up in the middle of the night when the puke hits the fan.
There are so many things to manage and synchronise. And not just when you feel like it. It has to be done, we have no choice but to put our own needs aside get up and do it.
Sometimes it is completely overwhelming. I have felt it. It’s like your senses cannot take any more input, you cannot hear another child, you are exhausted, cranky and get snappy, sensitive and teary over the smallest things. You start to think “What has my life become?”
When that happens, it is time for some nurture, a change of dynamic. It can feel like a drudge but it doesn’t have to. Give yourself some space; look after your own needs as a priority and your perspective will shift. You will start to see the light, the joy and the fun again.
Don’t try to do everything yourself. There are people out there that can help you.
Come and get a balance.
I wish you all the best,
Hi, I'm Nicole Mathieson, a relationship and body image coach, couple therapist and author.
My relationships blog helps couples learn practical ways to cultivate a deeper understanding of one another, find safety and connection in relationships, navigate difficult conversations and repair after conflict.