How can I improve my relationship without changing my partner?

relationship coach, Nicole Mathieson

Is it possible to improve your relationship without changing your partner?


Let’s face it, unless you are changing relationships as often as you change underwear, there are going to be moments when everything in your relationships feels stuck.

Stuck because of him. (For ease, I am speaking as though to a heterosexual woman, but if this is not you or you are single, please feel free to insert the appropriate pronoun or look at your patterns in general as all of this will be relevant)

Stuck because of you.

Stuck because of the way you gel and jam together.

Sometimes we are stuck for ages. It can be like we are bolted into stuckness out of fear of making any move – every option feeling equally as catastrophic.
It is like we are caught in a catch 22 of “I love him – but he is not changing….but I can’t change just in case he won’t love me if I do.


I know I need to change but I just keep getting triggered and drawn into the same old loops and reactions, so nothing shifts.

To revive your relationship from the inside out, grab your free copy of Thriving Love.


Thriving Love
5 steps to
Reviving your relationship from the inside out

-Feel more connected
-Revive your faith in your partnership, and
-Come back to the woman you want to be in life and love
Sign up here

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It can be depressing and sadly, a lot of relationship get lost here as they see the faith in their partnership corroding away.

What if you didn’t have to stay stuck?

What if you decided to do what you could do to shift your relationship?

What if you had the power to shift the energy dynamics of your relationship without changing him?

You might know that you are a powerful, energetic being. You really are!! Your energy creates your experience of the world. In your relationship, you are equally as powerful. You are 50% of your relationship dynamic. Which means that if you change, then the relationship dynamics must change too.

There are many things that you can change.

  • your energy
  • your approach
  • your attitude
  • your responses
  • your skills and know-how

Just 5 years ago, 15 years into my marriage, I found myself feeling stuck, cranky and resentful. I knew that my husband and I were good together. I knew that he was a good man. I just wasn’t feeling the spark.

I decided that instead of watching this potentially good relationship slide into break up, I would do what I could to make it better. I brought all my years of experience as a coach and kinesiologist and applied what I could to the relationship. The results have been amazing. Wee are now more loved up and connected than ever.

The chance are that any energy you put in will improve your relationship. Not only does it make you feel more empowered and help you take responsibility for your part in creating this dynamic, but it makes your partner feel more appreciated which in turn helps them shift their energy towards you. Before you know it you have shifted the downward slide into an upward spiral.

I have done the research and the homework now, let me help you improve your relationship.

Grab your free copy of Thriving love – my guide to reviving your relationship from the inside out.


Thriving Love
5 steps to
Reviving your relationship from the inside out

-Feel more connected
-Revive your faith in your partnership, and
-Come back to the woman you want to be in life and love
Sign up here

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Take care


  1. SOPHIA HILL on January 10, 2019 at 12:16 am

    I cant seeem to download the thriving love freebie! Can you help? x

    • Nicole on January 17, 2019 at 3:30 pm

      Hi Sophia,
      So sorry for the inconvenience. I will email you a link now.

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Nicole Mathieson

Hi, I'm Nicole Mathieson, a relationship and body image coach, couple therapist and author.

My relationships blog helps couples learn practical ways to cultivate a deeper understanding of one another, find safety and connection in relationships, navigate difficult conversations and repair after conflict.