What to do with a (too) noisy head

Nicole Mathieson kinesiologist and confidence coach


What to do with a (too) noisy head.


We all know that meditation is jam packed with goodness for us all, so why are we not all doing it more?

Well, a lot of the people I speak to find it really difficult to quiet their noisy head. There is nothing like an attempt at stilling the mind, to highlight for us, just how crazy, noisy and often, negative these heads of ours are. I know for a lot of people, this just becomes another reason to avoid being still all together.

But a noisy mind is no reason to give up on a practice that really is the key to our inner calm and full system well-being. Perhaps it is just time to approach those noisy heads in a new and different way.

Here is my heart-based guidance on how to manage a noisy, negative head.


  1. An attitude of acceptance

Saying to our heads “You’ve got to be quiet and still”, sets us up for failure.

The more pressure we put on anything the less we are able to contain it. And this goes for our noisy heads too.

It we try to suppress a thought, a feeling, a habit – it becomes energised. It becomes energised for the simple reason that we need to use our attention to keep it at bay, and attention is the very quality that energises.

“Where attention goes, energy flows” James Redfield.

We are much better off being compassionate and present towards that noise.

We can send love to it by just saying “I hear you. I am listening. Thank you for very much for letting me know all that is going on” And then focussing on something else such as the breath (as encouraged in mindfulness and yogic practices).

  1. Gratitude

Your noisy head, is a result of many years of training. Most of your life, you have highly valued your intellect and your capacity to stay alert, attuned and ready for anything. It is unfair of you, to tell it that it is no longer valued without some kind of explanation. Instead, show it your appreciation before changing its job description. It is time to say thank you to your head for all its efforts.

“Thank you Head noise for:
your concern,
your non-stop ideas,
your enthousiasm for thought,
for helping me stay safe and alert,
for keeping me busy and distracted from uncomfortable feelings,
& for your unconditional presence.

I understand that all this noise is trying to help. Thank you but I don’t need you to be so noisy anymore.
I would like you to stay alert for (eg. shallow breathing) and let me know if you notice it at all?”.

Remember, your head is not bad, it is just doing it’s job.


  1. Practice


Just like any habit or pattern, stillness is something we need to practice. The more comfortable you get, the less you will notice the noise in your head and the less your mind will create noise to overcome the discomfort of stillness. As you become more practiced in being calm and quiet, you will find yourself being more able to deeply connect to your heart, your inner guidance systems and the vibrations of the earth. This is so rewarding that you will be coming back for more and doing whatever you can to nourish it.

Really, the very best way to get really proficient in the art of calm, is to practice it every day.

Build your stillness muscle as you would a bicep. You do not necessarily need to build it by sitting in stillness – because that could just energise the frustration. Instead have a daily practice of tuning in to your heart. By that I mean, practice being present with whatever is going on within with an attitude of infinite acceptance. The more you are present with whatever is, the less your body / system has to create noise or scream at you to get your attention.



Try this

Take a deep breath in.

Put your hands on your heart and breathe out all that came before this moment, and anything that follows,

Come into the present moment.

Feel yourself centred in your heart;
Your big, beautiful, loving heart.

Feel the huge, big, flowing field of energy around you – at least 3m from your body in every direction.
Feel that the source of this field, deep in the centre of your being as a stream of love.
Feel the stream of love flowing out and around you, enveloping you in light.

All is well.

Now, look up towards your noisy head and direct this stream of love and light towards the noise. See the noise, hear it, hold it and love it with your beam of light. Love it for all that it has done for you to try to keep you safe and comfortable.

Hold your noisy head like this, in a beam of light and love for 4 big deep breaths in and out.

Feel your head consciousness filling with light and expanding and opening upwards and outwards.
Now ask your noisy head, “what do you need me to know?” “What is all this noise trying to save me from?”
You may intuit the answer or it may come to you over the next few days.

When you are ready come back and centre yourself in your heart for a few breaths.

All is well.

Notice the energetic shift in your head/ heart dynamic.

Repeat this practice as often as you need.

To sum up

To get the wonderful benefits of being present with yourself, approach your busy, noisy head voice from a different perspective – the perspective of your heart.

When approached with acceptance, gratitude, presence and love the noise in your head will soften and allow the deeper murmurs of your heart and soul to whisper in your ear.

Then life will start to feel more peaceful – not because there is no chaos around you, but because there is stillness within.



I would love to hear how you go. Leave a comment below to share your experiences with your noisy mind. Also, if yo have a friend who struggles with a noisy mind (and who doesn’t?) share this article with them – you never know how it may help.

Take care,



Leave a Comment

Nicole Mathieson

Hi, I'm Nicole Mathieson, a relationship and body image coach, couple therapist and author.

My relationships blog helps couples learn practical ways to cultivate a deeper understanding of one another, find safety and connection in relationships, navigate difficult conversations and repair after conflict.