Don’t be afraid of your fear
You have fear. Worry. Angst. I know. I have it too. And you know what, that’s life.
You are not going to get rid of it. You are human. And humans are hard wired to feel fear. Fear kept your ancestors alive and we have evolved into highly tuned fearful beings. As Elizabeth Gilbert says in her book Big Magic “Fear is the conjoined twin of creativity”. And living life is the most creative act of all.
But sometimes fear can get a bit out of hand. It can take over your thoughts, leave you with imagined tragedy hangovers or worse still, stop you from living a creative life.
So what do you do with it? How can you live comfortably with fear.
My advice is simply to feel it.
Don’t be afraid of your fear. It is an electrical impulse. It is finite. It is wanting to move.
The problem is a lot of us spend a lot of energy trying not to let it move. We don’t want to feel it (or any other negative emotion) . Instead, we try to control it by keeping it in the realm of our heads.
In our heads we try to solve it, we take it back into the past and try to change it, we take it to the future and prepare ourselves for all possible eventualities including the worst case scenario, and we think – yep, totally in control of this nasty emotion. Meanwhile, we have gone mad. We can’t sleep, we feel exhausted because our adrenal system is on high alert, sapping all our working energy and we become preoccupied. It takes so much energy keeping our lives in a manageable place where we are not going to accidently slip into the realm of feeling. It is not a great way to live. It is disconnected from the heart.
Our heart wants to feel.
Hearts are feeling geniuses. They need to feel to flow, and not just the stuff we deem pleasant. The heart does not judge. It is inspired and energised by accepting and being with what is; no matter what the emotion, good, bad or ugly. When you let your heart process your fear, you will be free from the corrosive effects and feel a sweet relief.
The freedom to feel it all is the most satisfying thing of all.
So trust your heart. She can cope.
If you feel ready to let you heart do her thing, this is what to do;
(If this feels daunting or you have experienced trauma that could effect this process – seek professional guidance first)
Find a time and a space where you will not be disturbed (allocate about 15-20 minutes)
Lie or sit with a hand on your heart.
Connect in with your heart. Feel what is going on for you in that space. – the vibration, the tension, the discomfort, the flow, the visuals, the vocals, the numbness- whatever. It is all okay. Just be present with it. Try not to judge it or solve it right now. Just notice and be with it.
Take a few deep breaths – In and out of your heart space.
*Depending on how connected you feel with your heart, this might be as far as you take this. You might need to re-establish a connection before you feel comfortable enough to introduce a difficult emotion. Be patient, feel what is right for you. Your heart has all the time in the world.
You might already feel the fear vibrating in your heart, if not – go ahead and gently introduce the fear.
Ask your heart to take the fear and do what it does best (accept). Stay and breathe.
It is really that simple.
Here are some extra processing tips:
-Open yourself to the experience of feeling it. Think of it as a courageous adventure.
-You can expect; to be uncomfortable, to have a moment of doubt, to feel like you are falling into a big deep dark bottomless hole, to want to get out of there. These are all perfectly normal and all part of the process. Stay with it, trust it is moving energy and breathe.
-Remember you are conscious, you are capable, you are in full loving support of yourself. You can do this.
-Stay with yourself. Stay and open and accept it all. Remember you do not have to solve, berate or create anything from this, all you need to do is be present. Your heart will do the rest.
-If you feel blocked – go back to acceptance. Acceptance is the first key to the heart. Try accepting the fear, or the fact that you feel fear, or accept the part of you that freaks out, or the inner child who is afraid. Offer love to these parts of yourself.
-You cannot fail. Even if this feels freaky and you pull out – you have made heart progress. You have wired pathways and gained consciousness of and into your feeling centre. Keep coming back to your heart and little by little you will energise a thriving, nourishing gateway to love.
Your heart is the gateway to a universe of love, your efforts will be worth it.
If this feels far too scary to do alone, I can help you. let me be your guide. Book your free Skype session here.
I would love to here your experiences with fear in the comments. Did you try this process or do you use a different technique? Is this the first time you have attempted this? Let me know.
Take extremely good care of yourself,
Love and courage,