Sometimes in life and love there are moments when we find ourselves in situations that are really not okay and we are asked to really stand up and fiercely protect ourselves.
Whether it be at work, with friends, strangers or in our love relationships, we have all been there. From little things that feel heavy in our hearts, all the way up to big things that are scary, manipulative and at worst violent.
In hindsight, we realise that there were signs; Red flags that we turned a blind eye to, behaviour that we excused away in the hope that it was a one off, or an optimistic refusal to see anything but the best in people.
Little by little it feels worse until we find ourselves HAVING to do something drastic to extract ourselves from the situation.
Most often the reason we find ourselves in these situations is that we didn’t use our voice when we need to. We don’t stand up and speak out.
If you are anything like me, you are great at fitting in, pleasing others and making sure you don’t rock the boat. To say something in that crucial moment, goes against every fibre of our being. It would mean getting really fierce and you don’t really want to have to go there.
Sometimes, we get lucky and these things blow over.
But other times they come back and bite us on the butt. We look back at those micro moments where we didn’t speak up and hold our ground and we wish we could turn back time, breathe deep into our hearts and find the courage to speak up.
Personally, I have had this kind of experience more times than I wish to remember. My easy going nature leading me into situations of sexual inappropriacy, friends treating me disrespectfully and work situations that became uncomfortable.
Inaction feels like a violation and cuts deep. Because, the truth is that I am the only one who can truly be my own keeper. It has to come back to me standing firm in my value. I have to find the courage to stand up for ME. To be my own champion and to trust that I am worth more. I don’t need connection at any cost. My needs CAN take up space, air time and even cause a stir, if that is what is required.
It takes a shitload of courage and self-love. But it is worth it.
Nobody deserves to be treated badly.
If you find yourself in a tricky situation, or if something just doesn’t feel right in your heart, perhaps it is time to do something about it. As scary and impossible as that might seem now, you will NOT regret it when you get beyond this. You are worth so much more. You are worthy of a truly loving love.
The first thing to do is seek help.
some options include (in Aus):
Domestic violence hotline: Reachout – 1800 RESPECT
Lifeline: for crisis support – 13 11 14.
If you feel like you need to work on your confidence, self worth and getting in touch with your desires, I can help. Book in a one-on-one discovery call with me.
To hear one of my clients talk about her experience of standing firm in her value tune into this week’s podcast. Marianne Buchanan shares an honest and raw account of a few of those moments when things have gotten uncomfortable and unsafe. She really had to get fierce and start standing up for herself. This episode is really a testament to the power of boundaries, standing firm for your values and good honest self-love.
To uplevel your relationship, join my shift your relationship – 5 day challenge.
-up-level your dynamics
-revive your faith in your partnership
-come back to the woman you want to be
Lots of love